Do you know the feeling when you really really want to make something but always feel like you will never reach your goal: the completion of it?

See that is what very often happens with me and knitting. I know my way around purl and knit stitches, cables aren’t a real problem but when you talk about short rows and more elaborate stuff I get scared.

About 1 1/2 years ago, I bought beautiful yarn to actually knit a sweater. And the pattern didn’t look that hard, a raglan that starts at the top and has just more or less normal knit stitches. I thought that this would be an option and I really wanted to try it. But the yarn kept hiding in my yarn stash and I didn’t take it out.

I was intimidated. I didn’t even want to try. And I found lots and lots of other projects to do before I started the sweater. I even crocheted one instead.

But why didn’t I just go ahead? The yarn was very thin and I thought that this might take me too long so that in the end I would never finish. I think this was the start. And it is true, I tend to hop from project to project it it takes too long.

More than that I thought that I just couldn’t do it. I started to read through the pattern and got overwhelmed. I was told that this pattern would be nice for me – and I had just gone ahead with it. I hadn’t checked or really thought about it.

After more than a year I thought that I has to start it – with help of Sarah and Katharina. So I took the yarn and pattern along and started it. It starts with short rows and I have to tell you, I wasn’t really keen on doing those or going on with it. At least not alone, I felt like I needed someone to hold my hand and tell me that I am doing this right – all the time. Nothing you really want while working on a project.

So what happened? The sweater returned into my stash and is still in there, I am still in row no 11 and I don’t think it will be knit, at least not by me.

So for me knitting a sweater was out of the question and though it was sad, I thought that I will just go on and make different stuff… Until something magical happened…

I was browsing on instagram and found Jessie Mae’s designs. (Ad unpaid) I had seen some of those before but the bubble v crop sweater was something I got stuck on. I really liked how it looked and wanted to just go ahead an try it. Imagine that, me wanting to knit a sweater!

So I went on and bought the pattern. I already had some yarn in mind that I hadn’t been really sure on what to make with it before. It all came together easily. And as you work the sweater from bottom to top I didn’t have to do any short rows in the beginning but could just go ahead with what I know. It was easy and felt sooo good to just go ahead and make it.

Right now I am not finished yet, the sleeves are still missing and I lost some stitches somehow (I think my stitchcount in the beginning was wrong), but it fits perfectly. Now the sleeves will be interesting but I know that I can manage now and I probably will make more that one sweater from this pattern.

What I realised was that I need to chose which pattern to use, not somebody else. If I decide that I am in love with the pattern itself, it isn’t as hard to make because I want to make it. And I will probably find more things to knit now that I know what to look for: the spark that makes a project right for me.

So how are you working with projects that intimidate you?

Take care, Christina